Cold hands, warm shart.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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