Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
