Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
