so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
