Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
