i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize