There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
