is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've blown a few things in my day
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
