id be glad to
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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