Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
