Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
