You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
where am i from again
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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