Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
