yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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