the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
