she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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