I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Randomize
