just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
