I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize