can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
