Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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