drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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