you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
