He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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