Already got asked if we're dating
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
