So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
