people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
