Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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