singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
