I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize