Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
