new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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