that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
is it fun? or sober?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
