lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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