I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
