I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
