so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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