she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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