honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
