Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there was a trapeze. enough said
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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