i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
me + whiskey = a bad person
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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