is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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