hotel room ftw
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
