I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
