Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This baby is an asshole
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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