Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
how does that bad decision feel?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
