i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
