so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh god it's open bar.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
