wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize