once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
