is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want a musical about memes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
