Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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