Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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