Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
