I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
