is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize