You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
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