I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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