I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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