I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize